


Don't Play, This Is Not A Game

by AwakeandAsleep



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: A little too well, Adam is always blushing at Ronans advances, Adam needs to take the heat for this, Aglionby Academy, Cabeswater - Freeform, Fake dating to real dating eventually, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fighting, Friends to Lovers, Gansey is the supportive friend, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, It was so much fun though, M/M, POV Alternating, Pining, Ronan plays along, Set between BLLB and TRK, Some People Are Homophobic Towards My Boys, Swearing, Swearing and flirting in Latin, The boys hang out and Adam calls it a "not-date", Thoughts and feelings are questioned, it's obvious that Ronan wants Adam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 21:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6724213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwakeandAsleep/pseuds/AwakeandAsleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe it was lack of sleep and just overall exhaustion that caused him to speak before his brain could catch up with his mouth. He thought, what’s the worst thing that could happen if I lie to Tad and say that Ronan is my boyfriend? Obviously Adam didn’t come up with a definitive answer to this question, so he decided that there was no harm in lying to Tad earlier that day.</p><p>In other words, Adam and Ronan are fake dating and Ronan definitely wants to play along.</p><p> </p><p>UPDATE: 12/28/2016</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There are fates worse than death

**Author's Note:**

> I started this months ago and decided to pick it back up after reading The Raven King (I'm still not finished with it tho). I have more written but decided to post it in chapters to see if people think it should be continued. I'll add more tags and the rating may change in future chapters. I usually don't write this kind of silly stuff but it was very fun to write so lemme know what you think if you want to know what happens next.
> 
> On tumblr I'm brendonurieisabottom

Adam definitely did not think this plan through before speaking it out loud to Tad Carruthers. He really wasn’t thinking. It had been a typical long day at Aglionby; going in and out of classes, shuffling through the halls, and acting like he got a good 8 hour’s worth of sleep last night, when the truth was that Cabeswater was trying his patience. It kept him up most nights with its constant _swish_ and _crunch_ of leaves in his good ear, which in turn kept him groggy and sleepy at school.

Maybe it was lack of sleep and just overall exhaustion that caused him to speak before his brain could catch up with his mouth. He thought, _what’s the worst thing that could happen if I lie to Tad and say that Ronan is my boyfriend?_ Obviously Adam didn’t come up with a definitive answer to this question, so he decided that there was no harm in lying to Tad earlier that day…

 

In all fairness, Tad was the one who brought it up in the first place.

“Hey! Adam! Can I talk to you for a minute?” Tad shouted as he stumbled to keep up with the threesome that was Adam, Ronan, and Gansey. Adam turned on his heel and the other two boys stopped also, wondering what this could possibly be about.

“What’s up?” Adam asked Tad.

Tad looked around nervously, then at the other two boys on either side of Adam. “Uh, can I speak to you alone for a sec?” Tad asked softly.

Ronan scrunched up his eyebrows in annoyance and muttered a low 'whatever' before walking away. Gansey immediately turned away too, trying to keep up with Ronans quick pace. So Adam stood there, alone, adjusting the textbooks in his arms, waiting impatiently for Tad to speak.

“Well, this is awkward…” Tad said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I was wondering if you’d wanna go out with me sometime? You know, like on a date?” A beat, a pause. “There’s this really cool drive-in movie theater just an hour out of town we could go to or this cool comic book shop over on –“

“Tad.” Adam interrupted. “That’s, uh, nice of you to ask but I… uh, I’m already dating someone.” Adam felt his cheeks heat up just by this fake admission alone.

Adam had no idea why he had just said that; Tad would know that Adam was lying just to spare his feelings. It’s not like Adam had any friends that were girls at Aglionby anyway. 

“Oh, really?” Tad responded with a disappointed look on his face. “I should’ve known but I wasn’t completely sure. Please don’t tell Ronan about this, I don’t want him to beat me up for trying to date his boyfriend.”

At Tad’s last sentence, Adam just stood there staring at him for what felt like hours as time seemed to move in slow motion. In reality it was probably a little too long for Adam to remain silent because Tad just kept on talking.

“… always together, but you can never tell with guys you know? Some of my friends told me about you and Ronan but I didn’t want to believe it and they said that- ”

“TAD!” Adam raised his voice and immediately felt guilty about it. “It’s okay that you didn’t… know about me and Ronan.” Adam said the last part quietly, scared that someone may overhear. Fuck, someone may have _already_ overheard, besides Tads friends who somehow concluded that Adam and Ronan were already together.

“We, uh, try to keep it discrete, so please don’t tell anyone else about this, okay? I’ll make sure Ronan isn’t… mad, but I gotta go so I’ll see you in Latin tomorrow.” Adam gave an awkward half wave as he walked down the hallway, away from Tad.

All Adam could think about as he searched for Ganseys car in the parking lot was that Ronan was going to kill him. No, maybe worse. Maybe he was going to ban him from Monmouth Manufacturing, or refuse to ever let him ride in the BMW ever again. Oh, god… maybe he would even go along with this horrific charade and start telling people how awful Adam was in bed or something. The possibilities spun around in Adams head until he started to feel dizzy and nauseous.

When Adam finally spotted the Camaro at the edge of the parking lot, he had no idea how to tell Ronan that they needed to act like they were boyfriends in Latin class tomorrow in order to prove that Adam wasn’t lying about their relationship. Adam didn’t really mind the idea so much, it was just that he didn’t think his plan through at all. Adam wasn’t planning on telling Tad who he was dating, just that there was already _a someone._ He considered describing that person as Blue, although they were definitely over in both of their minds. But when Tad had already assumed that this significant other was Ronan, Adam went right along with it without thinking about what this meant for Ronan. He considered that Ronan could be into guys, but as far as Adam knew, Ronan wasn’t into anyone. Questions started to arise in Adams mind faster than he could keep up with.

Did he just ruin Ronans social life at school by saying that he likes boys, and that he was dating a boy? Ronan lived his life not caring about what other people thought of him, but Adam had no clue how he would react to this new development. Adam really hoped that he would figure out a way to fix this, for both of their sakes.

The Camaro was suddenly in front of Adam. He hoped in the backseat without a word and stared out the window, avoiding eye contact with his two friends in the front seat. He barely registered Gansey saying how he looked like he had seen a ghost, a ghost besides Noah that is. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ronan glance back at him and then face forward again with a small sigh escaping his mouth. For some reason, Adam felt like there were butterflies in his stomach. Or maybe that was just Cabeswater...


	2. These were not forces to be played with

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tad tries to ask Adam out on a date, but when Adam shoots him down, he assumes it's because Adam and Ronan are dating. Adam goes along with this assumption against his better judgement. Adam confronts Ronan about the situation and tries to prepare himself for class the next day. Fake Dating AU.

“YOU DID WHAT!?” Ronan yelled. He yelled so loudly that Gansey could probably hear it from the other side of Monmouth Manufacturing.

“Were you even thinking at all when Tad said that you and I were dating? Why didn’t you just say _‘oh thanks for the offer Tad, but I’m not into dick’_. But _noooo,_ you had to say that we were dating; you and me Parrish… are you even listening to me!?”

Adam was currently sitting on the edge of Ronans bed, watching Ronan pace back and forth across his room while he kept clenching and unclenching his fists. Adam didn’t think he would hit him; he didn’t think that for a second, but while he watched Ronans hands, he noticed something. They were slightly shaking, but not from anger. Yes, Ronan was yelling a bit and Adam could tell he was not pleased, but Adam sensed that Ronans hands were more trembling than shaking, if you understood the difference. The air between them felt charged, or electric. Adam thought that Ronan seemed nervous and was trying to cover it up by being angry. 

In the end, Adam decided to just tell Ronan about his small problem instead of involving Gansey too. His plan was failing though because he was fairly certain Gansey knew something was going on between the two boys arguing in Ronans bedroom. 

Adam shook his head, “I’m sorry, okay? I just… wasn’t thinking. Cabeswaters been keeping me up lately and I haven’t had time to try and figure out what it wants.”

Ronan paused for a moment before continuing, “Damn right you weren’t thinking.” He said as he stared down at Adam, arms folded across his chest.

“Look, I can tell him tomorrow that I made the whole thing up. That you’re not… gay. And I’m not either, and of course I’ll say we were never together. I’ll fix it I swear –“

“Oh I have no doubt that you’ll fix it, Parrish. But first, you’re going to have to take the heat for it.” Ronan was over by the window now, speaking to Adam but with his back to him. Adam wished his could see the expression on his face; be able to read his face and what he’s thinking.

“What does that mean?” Adam shot back at him.

“It means that I’ll play along with this little game. I don’t give a flying fuck what those kids at school think of me, this might even make them leave me alone more than usual.” Ronan mused, turning around to face Adam. “So that’s settled. I’m in. You may wanna consider the repercussions of this one on your end though. Wait… do you even like guys? ‘Cause either way this won’t end well for anyone that wants to date you.”

Adam was so confused and dumbfounded for the second time that day that it was hard to make his thoughts into words and to make those words actually come out of his mouth. Ronan had just asked him if was into guys, but he brushed it off like he didn’t care if Adam answered the question or not. Adam was secretly glad that Ronan was giving him an out to answering the question. He took a deep breath and looked up into Ronans dark eyes and saw a flicker of amusement there. But Adam knew better than to believe all the emotions he saw from Ronan on the outside. He kept his true emotions hidden, under a thick layer of secrets and dreams and sharp edges.

“So that’s it? You’ll ‘play along’?” Adam asked, making air quotes around his words.

“Sure.” Ronan answered, feigning his indifference.

“O-okay. And what do you mean this won’t end well?” Adam pressed.

Ronan let out a frustrated sigh before he spoke. “I mean if you want girls to date you this is the wrong way to go about it. If you want boys to date you this is also not a good way to do that.”

“And why is that?” Adam countered.

“ _Pfft,_ because I’m fucking sexy and no one will dare to try and date you once they know you’ve been with me. They’ll probably be too scared to even approach you.” Ronan went on. “In other words, I think they’ll be afraid of you.”

“Glad to see you are so conceited about your own status and appearance.” Adam drawled, rolling his eyes. He thought that being feared by his classmates could possibly work to his advantage. Maybe they would just ignore him more than before and he could slip into being a little more invisible. Adam used to think that being feared and being invisible were two different things.

Ronan was glaring at Adam while his thoughts seemed to go in a never ending circle.

“I’ll drive you home and explain the whole thing to Gansey when I get back,” Ronan said. “Hope you enjoy the mess you’ve gotten yourself into, Parrish.”

Just as Adam was getting into the BMW, Ronan said, "Maybe later this week I can help you out with Cabeswater, maybe it'll stop being a bitch if I go with you."

Adam felt a smile tug at his lips, this was normal-Ronan-behavior. He felt like a small weight had been lifted off his shoulders, it seemed like he didn't screwed up their friendship too badly after all.

As Adam walked up the dusty staircase to his apartment above St. Agnes, all he could think about was Latin class the next day. Ronan didn’t go over any master plan with him or say anything at all about what he planned to do tomorrow to keep up this charade. That was what made Adam the most nervous; not knowing what Ronan would do. In fact, Ronan was quiet for the entire drive to Adams apartment after offering to help out with Cabeswaters needs. For probably the twentieth time today, Adam was asking himself what the hell he had just gotten into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely comments everyone, this is fun to write and I hope you all still enjoy it :)


	3. Dream me the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan pulled up to the warehouse building that he occupied with Gansey and shut off the car, letting the silence fall over him like a blanket. If there was one thing Ronan Lynch was good at, it was keeping secrets. Keeping secrets from others, and from himself. The longer he sat in the silence, the louder his thoughts became, especially the ones he was trying to keep from surfacing from his subconscious. Adam didn’t know it, but Ronans worst nightmare, deepest secret, and greatest desire were all merging into the same thing; and that was dating Adam Parrish. Except for the fact that it wasn't real; it was a game.

On the drive back to Monmouth Manufacturing, Ronan turned up his electronica so loud that he thought for sure he was going to blow one, if not all, of the speakers. After a few minutes of this, he turned it down a little, but not enough that he could hear himself think. The only thoughts he could get across his mind right now was that he didn’t want to ruin the speakers of his fathers car. Sure he was hard on the BMW more times than not, but his father was no different when it had been his.

Ronan pulled up to the warehouse building that he occupied with Gansey and shut off the car, letting the silence fall over him like a blanket. If there was one thing Ronan Lynch was good at, it was keeping secrets. Keeping secrets from others, and from himself. The longer he sat in the silence, the louder his thoughts became, especially the ones he was trying to keep from surfacing from his subconscious. Adam didn’t know it, but Ronans worst nightmare, deepest secret, and greatest desire were all merging into the same thing; and that was dating Adam Parrish. Except for the fact that it wasn't real; it was a game.

He tried not to think about it too often, tried to keep it in the back of his mind, keep it from resurfacing. But sometimes he let it slip. Sometimes he’d steal a glance at Adam while he was driving and have to swerve back into his lane slightly. He’d tune out the soothing cadence of Ganseys voice, but instantly perk up when Adam added his own input to the conversation. Ronan would let himself stare at Adams handsome face when he thought he wasn’t looking, study the planes of his hands after they were covered in dirt and grime from working in the garage all night.

All his efforts to keep his feelings to himself could come crashing down, depending on how he made his next move. 

_If that asshole Tad Curruthers could just keep his dick in his pants, I wouldn’t have to think about this at all,_ Ronan thought. In all fairness, Ronan had seen it coming. Tad wasn’t making advances at Adam or anything, but he wasn’t being completely subtle in his affections either. Of course Adam hadn’t noticed Tads little crush, at least he hadn’t said anything to Ronan about it. Ronan had hoped that Tad would just give up eventually, or that his icy stare aimed at the kid would make him drop the hypothetical subject. Apparently Ronan was losing his touch.

So here he was, sulking up the steps the Monmouth, knowing Gansey was going to fire an array of questions at him as soon as he walked in the door. He mentally braced himself in the car, however he still had no idea what he would say. When he pushed open the door, he ducked his head and kept his eyes down, but Gansey was relentless.

“Hi Ronan. So, are you going to tell me what you and Adam were fighting about this time? You seemed pretty irrate, I’m surprised Noah didn’t appear.” Gansey said all of this from his spot at his desk, keeping his eyes on whatever it was he was reading- a book or a magazine- before lifting his gaze in Ronans direction.

Ronan pressed on toward his room, intending to escape the oncoming assault, but once again, Gansey was relentless. He quickly glided over to Ronans room, positioning himself next to Ronans door, not in front of it. Gansey was being as Gansey-like as ever right now, standing in front of Ronan to let him know he wanted to talk, but not blocking his path. He was letting Ronan know that he was there if he wanted to talk about what had happened, but he was not going to push the issue or force Ronan to tell him. In that moment, Ronan decided he would’ve told Gansey almost whatever he wanted to know; his best friend that was always on his side, no matter what.

“Parrish did something stupid again,” Ronan said. “Involving… Tad.”

Gansey tilted his head slightly and furrowed his eyebrows. “Tad? From Aglionby? What do him and Adam have in common?” He asked.

_Not much apparently,_ Ronan thought. “He wants to date Parrish.” He bit out instead, then tried to keep the tone of his voice in check. “Long story short, Tad thinks Parrish and I are an item, and for some fucked up reason, Adam went along with it.” Ronan moved to open the door to his bedroom, while Gansey stood there like a deer in headlights.

“Well… that is… an inconvenience for the both of you, I suppose.” Gansey responded.

“Yeah, you could say that. I agreed to go along with it, for shits and giggles, but just wanted to give you a heads up, Dick. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to bed.” Gansey nodded at Ronan and turned to go back to whatever he was doing. They both knew that Ronan wasn’t really going to sleep; it was 10 o’clock at night and way too early for both of them to go to bed. But, Gansey didn’t call Ronan out on his bullshit, hopefully realizing that it had been a long night.

And it had. Too many different scenarios were going through Ronans head, and they were only getting louder. 

In his room he changed into some gym shorts, feed chainsaw, and proceeded to lay in his bed with his headphones on. Tonight had been a _night_ and he could only imagine how tomorrow would be. The way Ronan saw it, he could keep this situation under control, it all depended on which way he decided to spin this little story. There was the obvious route of just smashing his face with Adams and letting the whole class see that they were together. However, Ronan didn't think Adam would like that plan at all, even if it was Ronans favorite. Or, he could be subtle; no groping or kissing or inappropriate gestures. Just sweet and simple subtlety. Maybe a look of affection at one point in time, maybe he offers to walk Adam to class, or partners with him on a project. Anything to make it seem like they were more than just friends.

Ronan knew there were plenty more than just these two options, but those were the only two that made it into his mind as he felt himself drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and love are always appreciated, hope you liked this POV from Ronan. I'm going to try to switch POV's every chapter or so if it works out.


	4. Walking the line between dream and sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of a sudden, Ronans left arm came backwards toward Adams desk, a note in hand. Adam started to blush and quickly took the piece of paper out of Ronan’s hand. It had a good paragraph or so written in Latin in Ronans lazy handwriting. Adam skimmed it over, not recognizing hardly any of the words except his name and a few others. So basically he couldn’t decipher the note at all. He wrote on the bottom half of the page in English and passed the note back to Ronan.

The next day at Aglionby, Adam was a bundle of nerves and anxiety. There wasn’t an exact plan that Ronan and Adam had decided on, so Adam had no clue what Ronan may or may not do in class today. That was what worried Adam. Left to his own devices, Ronan was unpredictable. Normally Adam didn’t mind this, he actually envied that part of Ronan. Adam was all about plans. He liked knowing what was going to happen. He liked thinking about the future because it gave him something to be motivated about and strive for. He had to get good grades because he wanted to go to college. He had to be top of the class because he wanted to go to a good college. He wanted to get out of Henrietta. Ronan was the complete opposite. He lived life as it came and went, lived in the moment. If shit happened, then it happened and Ronan didn’t spend all of his energy trying to fix something that was broken or unfixable. Adam envied Ronan.

Adam thought it would be awkward to discuss his pretend-relationship-sham with Gansey. It was bad enough that Adam got himself into this situation, he didn’t want Gansey to think less of him because of it.

Ronan said he would speak to Gansey about their fake relationship, and he obviously had. Adam could tell because Gansey was being annoying. From the moment that Gansey picked Adam up for school today, he was already acting weird. He’d look at Adam, then quickly glance away; he’d open his mouth to speak to Adam, then quickly close it and shake his head. Adam was getting annoyed. At least Ronan seemed to be acting normal; sulking around school was normal behavior for Ronan.

Right before Adam and Gansey were going to walk into Latin class, Adam couldn’t stand it any longer. “Gansey, what is going on?” He asked.

Gansey looked a bit frazzled. “Nothing, Adam, I don’t know what you’re referring to. But if it’s about you and Ronan pretending to be dating, I don’t want to talk about it.” Adam could tell that Gansey had quite a few things to say to Adam about this topic, but Adam didn’t want to fight with him about it and it seemed that Gansey felt the same way. He was better lately at thinking about what he said before he said it; Adam had Blue to thank for that.

“I know it was a mistake, but I didn’t want to hurt Tad’s feelings. He kept going on and on and I just lost it and agreed to his assumption about Ronan and I.” Adam tried to make his voice sound less desperate for Gansey’s approval when he spoke next. “Just play along with it for now man, alright?”

Gansey cocked his head slightly as he gave Adam a quizzical stare. All he said before walking into class was “Try not to hurt Ronan’s feelings.”

Adam was taken aback by that statement, to say the least. What did Gansey mean by that? Surely he didn’t think that Adam would purposely embarrass Ronan during their fake relationship, did he? Adam brushed off the comment for now, filing it away with everything else in his mind that he would worry about later.

Adam walked into class and took his normal seat at his desk. The desks were laid out in rows and there were no assigned seats, but usually he sat in the middle of the classroom with Ronan at his left and Gansey at his right. Gansey took his normal seat too, but Ronan decided to sit in front of Adam today, leaving Tad to have to sit in Ronans old seat to his left. Adam carefully looked over and saw Tad trying to hide his face, but Adam gave an awkward wave anyway.

Class started with nothing out of the ordinary. Out of the corner of his eye, Adam noticed that Tads posture in his desk slowly became more relaxed as class went on. Adam thought that he might’ve seriously been afraid that Ronan would punch him or something.

All of a sudden, Ronans left arm came backwards toward Adams desk, a note in hand. Adam started to blush and quickly took the piece of paper out of Ronan’s hand. It had a good paragraph or so written in Latin in Ronans lazy handwriting. Adam skimmed it over, not recognizing hardly any of the words except his name and a few others. So basically he couldn’t decipher the note at all. He wrote on the bottom half of the page in English and passed the note back to Ronan.

_Going to need ur expert translating skillz, I don’t know half of those words. Recognized some swear words tho._

Ronan casually accepted the note back, being careful not to let their teacher catch them. He read Adams response and scribbled down on the paper quickly before handing the note back.

It read: _Est amor a poem_

Adam held the note away from him like it was poisoned. Ronan must’ve guessed what Adams response was because he was chuckling in his desk, clutching his hand over his smile. There was nothing Adam could do about the redness in his face, which only got worse when he noticed some of his classmates were staring at him, especially Tad.

A note in the shape of a triangle landed on his desk. It was flicked over to his desk from Ganseys. Adam felt his stomach drop. _Oh, God, what now?_ He thought.

_Mission successful, Tad can’t stop staring at you 2._

Adam crumpled up the note and tossed it in his backpack. 

As he turned his attention to his Latin professor, there was a small tap on the underside of his desk. It was Ronans hand, probably asking for their note back. Adam was too embarrassed to say anything back, so he decided to focus on his Latin textbook instead. When the professor asked if anyone would like to volunteer to read, Adam was shocked to find Ronan raising his hand; he never volunteered in any class except Latin, and even then it wasn’t very often.

After Ronan was called upon, he lowered his hand and cleared his throat. “I’d like to read a poem.”

_Oh shit_

“Very well, you may choose one that you like.” Replied his professor.

Adam didn’t know if he should pretend to be sick so he could leave the classroom or if that would make too much of a scene. It seemed like him and Ronan were already making a scene though.

Before Adam could decide what to do, Ronan was staring down at his book reciting a poem. Adam visibly relaxed, and then felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. 

The section they were on in class was about poems… Ronan never intended to read whatever nonsense he wrote to Adam on that note. Adam didn’t think he had ever been so embarrassed in all of his life, and no one even knew it but Ronan and himself. After he finished reading, the professor started analyzing the poem Ronan had just read to the class. Ronan turned around in his seat while the professor was writing on the board. He had a knife-like grin on his face as he started at Adam under hooded eyes. 

Just when Adam was about to kick Ronan in the leg, Ronan did the unspeakable. He _winked_ at Adam and turned back around in his desk. Adam wasn’t sure if anyone else saw that, but if there was any doubt in his mind that Ronan wasn’t enjoying this, it just flew out the window. Ronan seemed to be having the time of his life.

Adam kicked him in the leg under his desk. Ronan proceeded to snicker quietly. Adam kicked him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Est amor a poem = It's a love poem.  
> I don't know Latin at all, I just use a translator so sorry if it's incorrect, please stick with me!  
> Oh man, this chapter was fun to write and I can't wait to keep this story going. To everyone who comments and leaves kudos etc., you guys are too amazing, thank you so much!


	5. I take it we're friends now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the passenger seat, Adam groaned and leaned his head back on the headrest, allowing Ronan a good view of the sharp lines of his jaw, the long stretch of his neck, dipping down to his pronounced collar bone. Ronan usually tried to avoid staring at Adam, tried to avoid getting caught. Ronan quickly snapped his eyes to the window, staring out at the road. He tried to reel himself in. All this fake-dating shit was making him lose his touch, he had to control his emotions when he was outside of the prying eyes of Aglionby. He can make his classmates think he's dating Adam, but he doesn't want Adam to figure out that Ronan wants that for real.

Ronan was having the time of his life.

Ordinarily he somewhat enjoyed Latin class, but today had been different. He really _really_ enjoyed it. He was being reckless; he knew that. Passing notes to Adam could’ve gotten them both in a lot trouble, or worse; their professor could’ve read them out loud to the entire class. But that was part of what made it fun. Ronan liked the thrill of getting caught, the danger, the suspense; that _feeling._

Overall Ronan thought it went well. He could hear some murmurs going around the classroom as Adam and him passed notes like a bunch of middle schoolers in love. He knew the two of them had definitely gotten Tads attention, which was the ultimate goal. If Ronan thought about it, he could’ve done a lot more. He could’ve held Adams hand while they walked into class together, could've been all touchy feely or something. It’s not like Adam would pull away; their charade called for them to be dating, so what’s the harm in a little PDA? Maybe Ronan could try that little stunt another day. If Adam did pull away, he could play it off like he was the shy one in the relationship. Ronan chuckled to himself, this really was too much fun for him.

As class ended, Ronan was slow to get out of his seat, body stiff from sitting so long. By the time he got up, he noticed that Adam was nowhere to be found. Ronan didn’t think anything of it and went in search of his locker. After all, school was over now and Gansey was their ride home.

He found Adam at his locker. He was intently staring into the little magnetic mirror he had stuck to his locker door. Ronan thought he was staring at someone, until he approached him, seeing his eyes wide and glazed over.

“Parrish.” Ronan said sternly, placing a hand on Adams shoulder.

Adam fell forward slightly, leaning into Ronans hand that was now supporting him. He blinked a few times, trying to get himself together.

“S-sorry, I… Cabeswater.” He said.

“Shit, I forgot about that.” Ronan responded, releasing Adams shoulder. “I’ll help you out, but not tonight man. All that work in Latin class tired me out.”

Adam glared at him with a frown on his face, but Ronan could swear there was a faint trace of blush on Adams checks. Ronan’s chest felt tight. Adam looked back at his locker, shoving books into it and others into his backpack to take home with him.

Ronan was feeling adventurous today. 

He put his hand on top of Adams locker door and leaned onto it, bringing his face close to Adams, making them only a foot apart. He tilted his chin down and looked up at Adam from underneath his eyelashes.

“W-what are you doing?” Adam stuttered.

“I’m playing our game you dork, what do you think I’m doing?” He responded, with a crooked smile. “You should really play your part better.”

Adams eyes went down to Ronans lips, then back up to his face. He cleared his throat and took a step back, blush surfacing high on his cheeks again. He glanced around to see if anyone had been watching them, but if they were, they had already turned away. Ronan was pretty positive that making Adam blush was his new favorite thing.

When Adam finished grabbing his books, he walked with Ronan out to the parking lot where they found Gansey waiting in the Camaro. 

“That was quite a little show you two put on in class today.” He said when both boys got into the car.

In the passenger seat, Adam groaned and leaned his head back on the headrest, allowing Ronan a good view of the sharp lines of his jaw, the long stretch of his neck, dipping down to his pronounced collar bone. Ronan usually tried to avoid staring at Adam, tried to avoid getting caught. Ronan quickly snapped his eyes to the window, staring out at the road. He tried to reel himself in. All this fake-dating shit was making him lose his touch, he had to control his emotions when he was outside of the prying eyes of Aglionby. He can make his classmates think he's dating Adam, but he doesn't want Adam to figure out that Ronan wants that for real.

“Do you want me to pick you up after your shift at the garage or do you want to just meet us at Nino’s?” Ganseys question was directed at Adam.

“You can pick me up, I’ve been needing to work on my car anyway. I think the radiator is leaking coolant. It’d just be smart to drive it as little as possible.” Adam said, stepping out the Pig.

“Alright, I’ll pick you up at 9 then.”

“Right.” Adam reached out to bump knuckles with Gansey before jogging into St. Agnes. Ronan got out and climbed into the passenger seat.

He was quiet for most of the ride home, giving a small grunt of ‘goodbye’ when Gansey dropped Adam off at his shitty apartment. His mind was still spinning from the events of today, and he was silently preparing for some sort of lecture from Gansey, which came as they pulled into Monmouth.

“So, can you please explain the game to me one more time?” Gansey asked. It seemed like they were all referring to the situation of Ronan and Adam fake-dating as _‘the game’._ Which was fine with Ronan, he liked secret code names anyway.

“Why do I have to explain it again? Parrish and I are pretending to be fucking because he told Tad that we were. And since Parrish is an idiot, like I’ve said before, he doesn’t want Tad to know he lied, so I have to play along with the charade. That’s the game.” This was all said very quickly and hot tempered from Ronan.

Gansey was looking at Ronan with that questioning expression on his face that he used on Ronan much too often lately. Then, very awkwardly, he said, “I thought you guys were just pretending to be dating, I didn’t know you were pretending to be having sex too.”

Ronan face palmed. He rubbed his hand over his face and groaned to himself before quickly exiting the Pig and going upstairs. He didn’t need to be thinking about fucking Adam right now, especially not after the show Ronan had put on today. Occasionally his dreams would get too close to that scenario of him and Adam, tangled up in sheets or surrounded by leaves and grass. Or, Ronan's favorite scenario, against the soft cushions of the backseat of a car.

At first Ronan thought it would be difficult to pretend to be Adams boyfriend. He thought it would be too hard for him, that his real feelings would come out or get in the way. He didn’t know if his heart could handle it. But he put on his game face and tried anyway, because it was what Adam had asked of him. Suprisingly, he made it through the day without too much damage done. He thought he set up a starting point for their fake-relationship, and would only continue it, as long as that’s what Adam wanted. If this was what he had to do to be close to Adam, then he would do it. He just hoped that his heart would still be intact by the end of it.

When 8:30 rolled around, Ronan heard a knock on his door. He opened it to see Gansey with his phone balanced between his ear and his shoulder. “Ready to get Blue and Adam for Nino’s?” He asked. Ronan nodded and went to put on some shoes and a sweatshirt.

Gansey pulled up to 300 Fox Way a few minutes later, getting out of the car to knock on Blue’s door. Ronan remained in the car, bringing his hand up to his mouth to chew on the black leather bands around his wrist. He felt a cold breeze blow into the open windows of the car, and when he turned, he saw Noah in the drivers seat.

“How’s life, ghostboy?” Ronan asked him. Noah initially frowned at him, then he smiled like he had just remembered the funniest thing in the entire world.

“So you and Adam, huh?” He asked Ronan, trying to keep himself from laughing.

“It’s a _game._ ” Ronan responded with a razor sharp edge to his voice.

“Oh, is it? Didn’t seem that way to me.” 

Ronan thought Noah was referring to him, saying that he wasn't hiding his true feelings well enough. He knew that Noah had some weird ability to know people’s secrets, or what they were really thinking. It made him uneasy, to be so exposed with no way to shield himself.

“Yeah? Well not everything is as it seems. _It’s just a game._ ” Ronan responded.

“Nothing is _just a game_ to him.”

And just as quickly as he appeared, Noah was gone. And Ronan was left with even more questions than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks to everyone that's keeping up with this story and commenting! I have so many plans for this. Might add some Henry Cheng in eventually, but I'll warn you when. No Raven King spoilers though, I haven't finished it yet. Rating will go up in the far future, I'll give a heads up for that too ;)


	6. I'm holding on to what I know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam contemplates the events of school, trying to decide if he wants to continue playing this game with Ronan. The gang goes to eat at Ninos and Adam is confronted by some people who heard that he's dating Ronan. And they do not like it at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some fighting in this chapter and taunting because of sexual orientation. I hope I treated it gently.

Adam barely had time to think about the events that went on at school today. As soon as he got home, he was already getting his things together for his shift at the garage. Sometimes he rode his bike, if he was trying to save on gas, and other times he drove the Hondayota. Tonight he chose to drive his car so he would have enough time for a quick shower before Gansey picked him up to eat dinner at Ninos.

When Adam got to the garage, he was trying to keep busy. He liked working on cars. It felt good to use his hands, to be able to do something with them, to make something. It kept him grounded.

If he was honest with himself, the reason he was trying to keep busy was because he didn’t want to think about the events of today. He didn’t want to think about the frown on Tad’s face when he saw Adam blush as red as a cherry from Ronan’s ‘love note’. He didn’t want to know what his other classmates thought about him and Ronan. And he especially didn’t want to know what Gansey was really thinking about this whole situation.

Adam always tried his best not to care what people thought of him. He was probably the poorest student at Aglionby, getting in on a scholarship, but he was also at the top of the class. He felt a surge of pride go through him at this thought. _So what if they think I’m gay,_ Adam thought, _I don’t need their validation._ Adam didn’t need to be told who he was or what he was from anyone else, he already knew who he was deep down inside. He was a poor boy who had to work three jobs just to make enough money for rent. And sometimes it still wasn’t enough. _But I’m also The Magician,_ thought Adam.

When Adam was finished working on the cars he had scheduled for tonight, there was still about an hour left in his shift. He debated closing up early but decided to stay and work on homework. It was possible he would have another customer come in during the last hour anyway. As he took out his Latin textbook, he was reminded of class earlier today. Ronan might’ve thought he was doing a good job convincing his classmates that they were together, but Adam thought otherwise. He was more embarrassed than anything. He knew Ronan was just doing what was asked of him, but Adam had obviously never had a boyfriend before, and Blue was really the first girl he ever called his girlfriend. Adam didn’t know all the in’s and out’s of flirting or dating, but he was pretty sure that Ronan didn’t either. As long as they were both in this thing together, Adam didn’t see any harm in the situation.

Adam didn’t really get anywhere on his homework assignments, not with his brain running one hundred miles an hour, so he opted to close up shop and head home for a shower.

He parked his car, grabbed his school bag and headed up the stairs to his apartment. He dropped his backpack by the door and began rummaging around for clean clothes to wear tonight. He laid them out on his bed and headed for the shower, leaving the door to the bathroom open. He showered quickly, making sure to scrub his grimy hands for a few extra minutes. When he was finished, he shut off the water and, while still soaking wet, wrapped a towel around his waist and left the bathroom to change into his clothes.

“Jesus Parrish!”

Adam stopped in his tracks to see Ronan reclining on his bed in the middle of the room. Adam briefly wondered how he got in, then remembered that he had his own key.

“Do you mind, Lynch!? I’m kinda naked here.” Adam pulled his towel tighter around his waist, making sure Ronan didn’t see anything he wasn’t supposed to. However, this had the opposite effect, letting Ronan see some vague outlines of Adams lower half through the thin material of the towel.

Ronan stared at him for a moment, mouth hanging open slightly before he checked his expression and scoffed, getting off the bed.

“Get a move on, dork.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m working on it.” Adam replied right as Ronan was walking out. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in when Ronan left. He grabbed his clothes and changed quickly in the bathroom, just in case Ronan decided to waltz back in.

When he got to the Pig, he was in the backseat with Ronan and Noah. He avoided Ronans gaze, a small blush creeping up his cheeks. He didn’t miss the huge smile that was glowing across Noahs face though.

“What?” He asked.

“Oh, nothing.” Noah replied snickering.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened while the gang was eating dinner at Ninos. They were seated at a booth in the back of the restaurant, at Blue’s request, and she was currently chatting with one of her coworkers. Gansey was seated next to her, listening to the two girls in conversation. Noah was busy people watching and trying to make some kind of _thing_ out of the napkins. An airplane maybe? Or was it supposed to be one of those fortune tellers that all the girls used to make in middle school?

As they were waiting for the check, Adam recognized some boys from Aglionby walking in. It was a group of four boys. Adam recognized some of them from his classes, but couldn’t put any names to the faces. One of the boys caught Adams eye, and started whispering to his friends. Adam looked back at the table. He heard an outburst of laughter and quietly wondered if they were making fun of him. Adam quickly came up with a list in his head of all the things they could possibly be saying about him. It was no secret that Adam didn’t have much money and was one of the students at school who had to work to earn money. He figured they were making rude comments about Adams home life, how poor he was, or maybe the fact that he was top of the class.

 _You are the Magician_ , Cabeswater whispered in his ear, but he didn’t feel like it. Right now he felt like shit and wanted to get away from these guys that may or may not be making fun of him. He announced he’d wait in the car until the rest of his friends were ready to leave.

As he got up from his table and exited the restaurant, he noticed that the boys in question were following him. He almost reached the Camaro when one of them put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, man. I just have a question for you, do you mind?” One of them asked.

Adam looked at them skeptically while shrugging off the boys hand, trying to decide what the best option would be. “Sure.” He answered. He decided to go along and indulge their curiosity, hoping they’d let him be after they got bored.

“Does everyone in the trailer park like to suck cock, or are you just special.”

Adam was taken aback; that was probably the last thing he expected them to say. Apparently the word got around school a lot faster than he thought. He felt his cheeks begin to get hot and he curled his hands into fists at his sides. He turned to continue making his way toward the Camera, but was stopped when one of the boys put a hand on his shoulder again.

“Hey, I’m talking to you. Are all of you this disrespectful?” He growled.

Adam didn’t know if he was talking about him allegedly being gay or about people in the trailer park. He didn’t have much time to dwell on the thought before this boy was pushing at his shoulders. Adam knew he couldn’t run away and he couldn’t fight them; it was four against one. He lost his balance trying to stumble backwards and was kicked in the stomach.

“Come on, do something. Defend yourself!” One of them spat at him.

“He’s a fucking joke.” Another one said.

Adam put his arms up around his head, trying to protect the only good ear he had left. He heard another of his attackers start to speak, but was cut off by a horrifying crunching sound. He lowered one of his arms slightly, peeking out to see what had happened. It turns out, Ronan had made an appearance and punched one of the boys in the face. It sounded like he broke his nose, or possibly his jaw or both. There was blood gushing from the boys nose. One of them screamed, running away immediately. With one of his victims down, and the other running away, Ronan went on to the next. He got in a good crack across this ones jaw, catching the boy off guard as he fell to the ground. However, Ronan was still outnumbered. He didn’t see one of them winding up and hitting him across his cheek and up to his eye. He got another few hits on Ronan before a man from the restaurant came running out, yelling.

“Hey you kids! Stop it! What’s the matter with you!?” 

The three remaining boys looked up, startled, and ran off the best they could, despite their injuries.

“Fuckin’ kids.” Muttered the adult, it looked like he worked in the kitchen of Ninos, with his white apron flapping in the wind. “You boys alright?” He held out a hand to Ronan helping him off the ground. Adam could already see a bruise forming on Ronans face, and his eye was started to swell shut.

Ronan stretched out a hand to Adam. Adam tried to control his shaking hands and let Ronan pull him up off the ground.

“Those bastards were all talk, I don’t think they really even knew how to fight. You alright?” Ronan asked.

After being pulled up from the ground, Adam was too close to Ronan. He took a few steps back, which put a confused look on Ronans face. “I don’t need you protecting me, I could’ve handled it on my own.”

Ronan looked like he was about to explode at Adam in anger. He took a quick breath, and Adam could tell he was trying to dial back his anger. “Really? Because it didn’t fucking seem like it. Don’t worry I just got beaten up for no reason.”

“I didn’t ask for your help! If you didn’t intervene you would’ve been fine.” Adam shot back hotly. “They came at me because they know about us- they think I’m gay. I don’t need you coming to my rescue just because you’re pretending to be my boyfriend!”

“Why are you so dense, Parrish!? I didn’t beat them up because we’re pretending to be boyfriends, I did it because we’re _friends!_ ”

_This wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for our fake relationship anyway _, thought Adam. “Thanks, but I can take care of myself.” Adams pride was one of the few things that Ronan would never understand. Even now, he knew Ronan was cursing his stupid pride.__

__“Whatever, you’re welcome asshole.” Ronan shouted as he walked back towards the dinner. Adam felt a pull in his chest and he was out of breath for a moment. _Greywaren_ , Cabeswater whispered. He felt how much Cabeswater longed to make the Greywaren happy; it hated when he was upset, and so did Adam._ _

Adam got into the backseat of the Camaro, waiting for his friends. He knew that this whole situation was all his fault. That was what hurt the worst. It was his idea to pretend to be dating Ronan, and because of it, Ronan got hurt and Adam almost did too. It was his fault, and that was the biggest blow to his pride. Right now, to Adam, it seemed easier to have Ronan be mad at him. It was easier then admitting that he had fucked up and that he was to blame for this whole thing. He felt sick to his stomach, and it wasn't just because he was kicked fairly hard. He wasn't thinking again and he was a dick to Ronan when all he was really trying to do was help him, as _friends_. Adam royally messed up. Ronan wasn't helping him because of _the game_ or some false pretense, he was doing it because that's what friends do. Adam royally fucked this up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading, leaving comments etc. So glad people are loving this story!  
> Intense chapter this time, but things are just starting to get interesting from this point on. <3


	7. Fall to your knees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And did I worry _you_?” Ronan shot back. He knew he was getting into dangerous territory. He didn’t want to know Adams response to his question, but he couldn’t help himself. The fights between him and Adam were never really fights, more like friendly jabs and pokes at the other person.

Ronan was not in class the next day.

He figured it was for the best. He had a black and blue bruise across his cheekbone and his eye was pretty swollen. He knew the teachers would be concerned, asking questions like ‘Who did that to you?’ ‘Did you get into a fight?’ ‘Is someone hurting you at home, Ronan?’ 

He was pretty sure that the teachers would assume that he got into a fight, that he started it, and that it was ultimately his fault. He was also fairly certain that his teachers knew he didn’t exactly have parents anymore, but he still didn’t want to be explaining that to anyone who didn’t already know. It’s none of their business.

So, Ronan didn’t go to school. He didn’t exactly go home after the argument between him and Adam either.

They all got into the Pig and Gansey proceeded to drive everyone home. Gansey and Blue were nervous in the front seat, feeling the sharp tension between Adam and himself. Noone talked about it. Ronan wasn’t even sure they really knew what had happened; maybe they were watching from inside Ninos. Ronan figured Noah knew somehow and would fill them in later, but he didn’t really care. After Gansey dropped Blue and Adam off at their respective homes, he arrived at Monmouth. Gansey went upstairs with Noah following not far behind.

“Going out.” Was all that Ronan said as he got in the BMW.

After getting in his car, Ronan drove to the Barns. He had the windows rolled down and the music cranked up. He was starting to feel less angry.

Time didn’t have any meaning when Ronan was at the Barns. He would start a project and work on it until it was done. He cleaned up the house, fed the animals, played with a few ducks, and before he knew it, the sun was starting to come up again.

He went inside and laid down on the couch in the living room. He stripped off his clothes so he was left in only his boxers. He felt himself drifting off to sleep but decided he should check his phone. Of course, there were a few missed texts and calls from Gansey. He was probably trying to apologize for Adam’s behavior, always trying to make things right between their group. But Ronan would only hear it from Adam himself, he was the fuckwad who pissed Ronan off. He didn’t reply to any of the messages before he fell asleep.

When he woke up the next morning, he was slightly disoriented, trying to remember where he was and what had happened last night. He dreamt that he was playing in a field with Declan and Matthew. He was young, but not sure how old. He hadn’t quite established the fact that he hated Declan yet; all of them playing nicely together. The three brothers were playing a game of soccer in the field with its tall grass and leaves falling from the trees. Ronan began to realize it as Cabeswater. The boys were playing when out of nowhere four older boys started pushing them around, saying they couldn’t play soccer here. The boys were yelling at small little Matthew in particular, trying to upset him. Ronan was furious and intervened to save his little brother, letting the older boys beat him up in the process.

The dream confused Ronan when he woke up. They weren’t any similarities between Matthew and Adam. Yes, Ronan would do whatever he had to to protect them, but his feelings for Matthew were that of family, and… Ronan figured that he now thought of Adam as family too, in a way.

The day was uneventful for the most part. Ronan woke up late in the afternoon, made himself some breakfast with whatever food was left in the kitchen from his last visit. He went out and fed most of the animals once again, and then decided it was time for a nap.

When he woke up again, it was dark outside. He checked his phone for a few more missed calls and texts from Gansey. One missed call from Declan too.

He drove the BMW back to Henrietta and right to Monmouth Manufacturing. Surprisingly, Gansey wasn’t home. Ronan went into his room and let chainsaw out of her cage. He fell back onto the bed, with his boots still on, and watched his bird hop around the room.

All of a sudden, a knock at the front door startled him awake. He wasn’t sure how long he was asleep for, but he was guessing it was pretty late. He opened the front door.

Adam was standing in the entryway, dripping wet from the storm ragging outside. His light grey t-shirt was clinging to his skin, his dusty hair was matted to his forehead. Ronan could feel him staring at his swollen key and the bruises on his face.

“Come on.” Adam said, nodding his head in the direction of the parking lot. But he didn’t move from his spot on the porch, just continued to stare at Ronan until he let out a sigh and the tension in his shoulders vanished. Ronan darted back inside to grab a sweatshirt and followed Adam outside. They both got into their own cars, Ronan waiting for Adam to lead the way.

It didn’t take long for Ronan to realize where they were headed. When they got there, he parked his car and followed Adam upstairs. Adams pulled out his keys and unlocked the door to his small apartment. 

Once inside, Adam kicked off his wet shoes and began pulling off his t-shirt. Ronan felt like he was coming out of a trance. He wasn’t entirely sure why he followed Adam at all, he just knew that whatever Adam asked, he would do it. 

While Adam was in the bathroom, Ronan took his usual place beside his bed on the floor. Adam didn’t have much for blankets or pillows, but Ronan kept one of his own here, at the foot of Adams bed. He laid his blanket on the floor and got on top of it, pulling off his hoodie. He laid on his back, quietly staring up at the ceiling when Adam reentered the room. He heard Adam crawl onto his bed and pull some blankets over him, and then there was silence.

Ronan didn’t mind it. This is usually how it went when Ronan stayed over. Sometimes they would talk for awhile in the darkness, sometimes Adam would be studying while Ronan dozed off, and other times Adam fell asleep first and Ronan just laid there next to him, listening to him just being alive.

But something was off about tonight; the air felt electric between them. Ronan knew that something had to be said, and there was no way that Parrish was going to be the first one to say anything. Ronan sighed. Just as he was about to say something, _anything,_ Adam broke the silence.

“Your face looks like hell.”

Ronan’s hand clenched and he had to remind himself that this was Adam, not some stranger that was looking for a fight.

“I’ll survive.” Ronan replied thinly.

“Where were you today?”

A pause. “Where do you think, Parrish?”

A sigh. “The Barns probably.”

Ronan nodded in the dark before realizing that Adam couldn’t see his face. “Correct answer, genius.”

“You didn’t need to do.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Adam said firmly, “You worried Gansey.”

“And did I worry _you_?” Ronan shot back. He knew he was getting into dangerous territory. He didn’t want to know Adams response to his question, but he couldn’t help himself. The fights between him and Adam were never really fights, more like friendly jabs and pokes at the other person.

There was a long pause before Adam replied quietly, almost with a broken voice. “Yes.”

Ronan knew it was as close to an apology as he was going to get, and he accepted it. He sat up and leaned towards the bed, flicking Adam in the ear.

“Nice talk, Parrish. Now get some sleep. My ugly face needs some rest.”

Adam recoiled from Ronans small assault with a small smile on his face. He lifted his eyes to Ronans for a moment before they both looked away and went back to trying to sleep.

Tomorrow, things would be back to normal.


	8. All my friends are heathens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan drives Adam to school and almost gets into a fight defending Adams honor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been awhile since I've updated and I'm sorry! I recently read The Foxhole Court trilogy in like 2 days and have been obsessing over it. So please talk to me about Andriel if you want! Sorry if this chapter is short but I wanted to put something out because the response to this story has been great, thank you!! <3
> 
> Also not sure if this was mentioned but this story is set somewhere between the end of Blue Lily, Lily Blue and The Raven King.

The next morning started with Adam Parrish kicking Ronan Lynch. He lightly kicked his legs in order to get Ronan to wake up from his spot on the floor next to Adams bed. After a few groans and being told to fuck off, Ronan sat up and stared up at Adam.

“What is it, Parrish?” He asked rubbing his eyes.

“I’m going to call Gansey and tell him I don’t need a ride to school. Can I use your phone?”

Ronan let out a small laugh. “Because you think I’m going to drive you, right?”

“Don’t be stupid, of course you are.”

Their stare down continued until Ronan gave up with a shrug and pulled out his phone, handing it to Adam. Adam pulled up Ganseys number and pressed the call button. It only rang once before Gansey answered in a frantic voice.

“Jesus Ronan! I’m glad to know that you’re alive, now do you mind explaining to me where you’ve been the past… 48 hours!?” Gansey was speaking so fast Adam couldn’t even get a word in right away.

“Hey, sorry, it’s me. Ronans here and he’s fine. Just letting you know he’s going to drive us to school.” Adam drawled as he walked to his dresser in search of his school uniform.

“Where was he? And are you going to tell me what actually happened the other night? I got some vague story from Noah but that was it.”

Adam turned around to glance at Ronan, who was still laying down on the floor, making no effort to get ready for school. “Yeah, well, it’s fine now. Everything’s fine.” He took his clothes and went into the bathroom where Ronan couldn’t hear him. “Some guys were giving me shit at Ninos and Ronan intervened.”

Gansey was quiet for a moment on the other line. “And how, exactly, did that lead to the two of you getting into an argument?” Adam frowned at the phone.

“I don’t need him to take care of me.” Adam stated, like it was so obvious. 

“He’s your friend Adam and so am I, both of us would’ve intervened if you were getting beaten up by some lowlifes.”

Adam sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “I know, alright? I know, things are just weird right now, okay? And I still need help with Cabeswater.”

Gansey ignored Adams remark about Cabeswater, “Is this because of the fake relationship? If you don’t want to do it anymore just tell Ronan.”

Adam considered this for a split second, but it was too soon to call it off. He didn’t even want to think about his classmates asking what went wrong in their relationship. If Ronan could tough this out, then so could he. Adam wasn’t going to back down first. When Adam didn’t answer right away, Gansey continued, “Just be careful.”

There it was again, Gansey telling Adam to _be careful._ Adam still didn’t understand what Gansey meant. Everyone needed to be careful around Ronan. If he was pushed the wrong way, he’d push back five times as hard, and no one wanted to be in his path of destruction. But, Ronan could also be gentle, Adam knew this. He thought of him dreaming up a baby bird and learning to care for it on his own. He thought of Matthew and Orphan girl. 

“I know.” Adam said again, “I’ll see you homeroom.”

By the time Adam finally got Ronan to get up from his makeshift bed on the floor, they were almost late for their first class. Ronan had sped into the parking lot at an alarming rate and slammed the car into park in a spot away from all the other cars. Ronan didn't believe in parking next to other cars because he thinks they’ll open a door too wide and damage his car. Adam figures that he understands, in a way. He sees dents and dings on cars at work all the time and it’s sad to see it on some of the nicer vehicles. Adams suspects that Ronan just doesn’t trust other drivers.

They don’t pass any of their classmates on their walk inside because of their tardiness. However, when they walk into their homeroom together, everyone's heads turn to the back of the room. Adam feels his face go hot. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Ronan to come to class late, but not Adam Parrish. A few days ago, no one would’ve cared that they came in late together. But now, there was a whole different meaning to it. Not to mention Ronan's face was still healing from taking a few punches for Adam. Adam ignored the stares and the whispers and took his usual seat while Ronan was a few rows behind him. He gave Gansey a sheepish smile as their teacher told everyone to quiet down and continued his lesson.

When the bell rang to single the end of class, Adam started packing up his things. Ronan and Gansey walked over to Adams desk.

“That was quite an entrance you guys made.” Gansey stated when he reached Adam. “It was a little hard to ignore, what with Ronans face being a little… more beaten up than usual.”

“Well thanks, Dick. I’m glad you took the time to notice.” Ronan scoffed, “And I’m fine, by the way.” 

Adam got out of his desk and started towards the hallway, with the two boys at his sides. “He didn’t want to get out of bed this morning, that’s why we were late.” 

“I figured as much.” Gansey replied. “Ronan doesn’t sleep very much at our apartment as it is.”

“Hello.” Ronan raised his voice to the both of them, “I can hear you. I’m right here.”

“So Lynch, didn’t get much sleep at your boyfriends house last night?”

Adam almost tripped mid-step. He looked in the direction of the voice to a boy in his Biology class, Nicholas maybe? He was wearing a lopsided grin with his arms crossed defensively over his chest as he stared at Ronan. Adam backpedaled; he didn’t realize there were people listening in on their conversation and how they were twisting his words around. He shot his eyes to Ronan who’s back had gone rigid with tension. Ronan and Nicholas were somehow ten feet away from him.

“Was he too rough with you? That how you got that shiner on your face?” Nicholas continued.

Ronan was laughing lightly under his breath. From a distance it sounded harmless, but Adam knew that Ronan was trying so hard to keep it together and not bash the kids face in.

“Hey, now. Nicholas I believe it is?” Gansey intervened. Nicholas glanced at him with a slight scowl and nodded. “We weren’t aware that our conversation was upsetting you. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re all going to be late for class if we keep this up.”

Nicholas didn’t seem intimated by Gansey or Ronan at all. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and bumped into Ronan's shoulder as he walked towards Adam. As soon as Nicholas turned he saw Ronan take a step after him, but Gansey grabbed his forearm to hold him back.

“You should keep your boys in line, Parrish.” He whispered when he was passing Adam.

“Just so you don’t hear it from anyone else,” Ronan spoke up, “I got this shiner protecting Parrish’s honor from some dickheads like you. And I’d do it again. You should see what the other three guys looked like.” Ronan was speaking loudly in the hall, attracting the attention of everyone in ear shot. No one missed the fact that Ronan had mentioned the fight was three against one. 

The expression on Ronan's face could only be described as deadly, challenging Nicholas and anyone else for that matter into coming at him for round 2. The smirk on Nicholas’s mouth faltered for a moment before he brought his façade back and walked away. Once everyone knew that was the end of the show, the hall became a bustle of students again.

Adam was stunned into silence for a moment before his brain caught up with him. He moved closer to Ronan and said, “Hey, don’t listen to that asshole.” After a pause he added. “Your face looks fine, at least you have less freckles then me, right?” Ronan was still staring across the hallway, but shifted his eyes over to Adams at that last comment. Adam saw Ronans hand close into a tight fist. “Fuck them.” He said and started down the hall, and didn’t look back.


	9. I'm always up, I'm always down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the argument with Nicholas, the gang goes to help out Parrish in Cabeswater. Ronan has a heart to heart with his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you all for reading!! I really do love these two boys. Side note, I'm writing an Andriel fic for The Foxhole Court series so be on the lookout for that in the next week or so maybe?

As Ronans last class of the day let out, he was still seething with anger. It’s no secret that Ronan usually keeps to himself at school and doesn’t socialize with the other students besides Gansey and Adam. He keeps himself at a distance from the other students. He tries to make his outward appearance give off a ‘fuck you’ vibe so no one approaches him. So it was safe to assume that his classmates didn’t give a shit about him. However, it seems that his little game with Parrish has gotten some attention.

It was taking every ounce of strength Ronan had to not punch Nicholas in the face and kick him in his nonexistent balls. Ronan couldn’t give two shits about what the other students thought of him, but when they start whispering rumors about Adam, then that became a problem. Ronan knew there would be consequences to their little game, he even welcomed them. He decided he would deal with this Nicholas problem only if it was a real threat to Adam. Ronan had more then a few ideas to scare Nicholas off, and only a few of those ideas involved his fists.

Ronan was quiet on the drive from Aglionby to Monmouth Manufacturing after school. When he pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car, Adam spoke up, “Um, I don’t have plans or anything, but… what are we doing?” Ronan didn’t answer on his way out of the car. He marched upstairs and threw open the front door to the apartment, seeing Blue and Gansey hovering over a book at Ganseys desk.

“Good, maggots here.” Ronan said. “We’re going to Cabeswater. You two coming or what?” He gestured to the both of them.

“Sure, I’m always up for exploring.” Gansey said as he sent a questioning look at Adam.

“Lynch,” Adam spoke up, “I know you want to help me with Cabeswater, but we don’t have to do it today. We could-“

“No.” Ronan cut him off. “We’re doing it today.” He shot a look at Gansey. “Can we go in the Pig?”

“Of course. Let me just grab a sweatshirt.” He answered. Ronan nodded and folded his arms across his chest, leaning against the doorway. He could feel Adams stare on his face, but he didn’t turn his head. Gansey found what he was looking for and started towards Ronan. Ronan turned and brushed past Adam in search of the Pig outside.

When they were all piled inside the car the silence stretched on. Ronan didn’t mind it, he just wanted some quiet after the events of today. Gansey and Blue started up a small conversation in the front seats. Blue made some comment about Ronans face along the lines of, ‘I hope the other guys turned out worse than you’ but he made no response.

When they got to Cabeswater, Gansey parked and they all got out. Once they got a bit further into Cabeswater, Noah appeared.

“What’s the mission for today?” Noah asked no one in particular.

“Parrish needs help with something.” Was Ronans reply. Again, he felt Adam staring at the back of his head, or maybe he was imagining things today?

Adam sighed. “I’m not sure exactly what it wants. I keep getting flashes of pictures and sounds, but I don’t know what it means.”

Ronan turned around and saw Adam sitting down on a rock, turning his hands over and over in his lap.

“Do we need to help align the ley-line again? Maybe somethings blocking it that we need to move? Gansey suggested.

“I don’t think so.” Adam mussed. “Last time that happened, it felt like Cabeswater was slipping, like it was losing some of it’s power. It’s different this time.”

Ronan decided to let them sort it out as he continued a little further into the forest. He walked until he came across a small pond, surrounded by trees. This is where his mother would usually spend her time.

Ronan sat down on the edge of the pond and waited. He could no longer see the others, but he wasn’t worried about getting lost. Cabeswater would lead the Greywaren back to his friends.

After a few minutes of waiting, Ronan finally saw his mother appear on the other side of the pond. She walked over to him and motioned for him to stand up for a proper hug as a greeting.

“How’s my boy today? You look a bit lonely all by yourself.” She said.

“I’m not alone. My friends are here too, trying to help Parrish with some issue with Cabeswater.”

She looked at him and tilted her head slightly. “Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. Are you sure nothing else is bothering you?” She lifted a hand and pressed her palm to his bruised cheek. Ronan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before bringing his hand up to cover hers still on his cheek.

“It’s fine, Mom. Really, just some guys were harassing Parrish—“

“What? Why would they be doing such a thing?” She sounded startled. She always thought the best of everyone and thought they had good intentions at heart. Sometimes Ronan thought she was too pure of heart for this world.

“Well, I…” Ronan didn't lie and he wasn't going to start by lying to his mother. He was going to say _I don’t know_ , but that wasn’t true. He pulled on her hand so they were both sitting under the shade of a nearby tree. 

Ronan doesn’t exactly know why, but, before he could stop it the words just started pouring out of him. He told his mother about Adams request that they pretend to be dating, he told her about the assholes who were beating up Adam, and then about the boy, Nicholas at school earlier today. He spoke quickly and in a much softer voice then normal. His mother listened quietly and gently rubbed his back, or held his hand, making sure they were always in contact with each other while Ronan spoke.

By the time Ronan was finished, he felt embarrassed, but also a little better. He felt like he had sounded like a teenage girl, venting all his boy troubles to his mother. Really, though, he just wanted to talk to someone who wasn’t going to judge him; someone on the outside of all this.

“Ronan that was a really nice thing that you did trying to help Adam from those boys at the diner, and again at school. You really care for him don’t you?” She said in a tender voice.

Ronan looked up at her. Of course she had seen right through him, she was always able to pick up on his feelings before he was ready to admit them to himself.

“Yeah, I guess.” Ronan answered, all causal.

“Your hearts in the right place, don’t forget that. And don’t let this fake relationship nonsense confuse you. You’ve always been the type of person who knows what they want. Whenever your ready, go get it. I'll always be in your corner no matter what.” She leaned in to hug him one last time before they parted ways. Ronan was feeling much better and actually had a small smile on his face when he found his friends again.

“Hey, where were you?” Gansey called to him. “We were just about to leave without you.” 

“You guys finished already? How long was I gone?” Ronan asked.

“About an hour.” Adam answered. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just… yeah. I found my mom by the pond that she likes. I wasn’t gone for that long, but you know how time is in this place.” Ronan shrugged.

Adam looked at him fondly. “Yeah, turns out we just had to move some stuff off the ley line, so we can head back if you want.” Adam directed the question at Ronan, even though Gansey was driving.

“How about swimming?” Gansey spoke up. “Not at that pond, but I think theres a lake a few minutes in that direction.” He pointed over Adams head.

“Sure.” Ronan shrugged.

The rest of the evening turned into finding out who was better at dunking. They were taking turns dunking each other under the water if they got too close to one another, or swimming away as fast as they could. They all swam in their clothes because no one had brought swimsuits for this little detour. Everyone had all their clothes on, except Ronan, who went shirtless into the water. The sun felt nice beating down on his back. 

He went easier on Adam than Gansey. He dunked Gansey under the water as many times as he could, but Adam wasn’t as good of a swimmer as the rest of them. Ronan went underwater and gave a slight tug on Adams ankle, sending him under the water. Ronan tried to make a quick retreat while still underwater, when Adams hand shot out and basically slapped him on the ass. He knew it was a natural reaction; Adams hands had flailed as he was underwater, but Ronan couldn’t help but blush.

Adam was already apologizing when he came up for air. Ronan snorted and had a small smirk on his lips. “At least take me out to dinner first before you get all handsy, Parrish.”

“I would!” Adam blurted out. Ronan’s smirk disappeared. He was very glad that Blue and Gansey were too far away to hear their conversation. “I-I mean-“ Adam stuttered. “I kinda owe you for… defending my honor twice now. So, we could order in tomorrow after I’m done with work.” He shrugged as he added, “If you want to.”

Ronan couldn’t stop staring at the pink blush going up Adams fair neck, making its way to his cheeks. He tried to calm his heavy pulse, reminding himself that this is something normal friends would do.

Ronan tried to sound calm and collected when he found his voice again. “Chinese food work for you?” He asked.

“Yeah, totally.” Adam replied. Ronan nodded at him. He was about to swim away to get out of the water or find Gansey or _something_ so he wasn't just staring at Adam, but he didn’t get too far before Adam was underwater pulling on his ankle, sending him under the surface.

Ronan decided that today had turned out okay after all.


	10. Now I'm As Good As Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "not-date"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK, WHOA! It's been a pretty long time since I updated so I hope this continuation of the story makes sense. Not sure how much I'll get to update in the future, but I wanna try to move the story along a bit faster, let me know what you think. 
> 
> THANK YOU ALL FOR STICKING WITH ME! <3

The next week had gone by in a blur for Adam Parrish.

School, work, sleep. School, work, sleep. The endless cycle that he was bound to repeat for pretty much the rest of his life. When he thought about it that way, it was kind of depressing.

The beginning of the week started off good and now he was just itching for a day off of school and work. Earlier in the week had been the “not-date” between Adam and Ronan. Adam wasn’t sure what Ronan was calling it, but in Adams head he decided to call it the “not-date”.

Adam had gotten off of work at 8 o’clock that night. He walked outside the shop to see the sleek BMW waiting for him. After some arguing, Adam had relented to let Ronan drive him to and from work. Ronan claimed it would be ‘convenient’ since they were hanging out after he was done anyway. They greeted each other the same way they always did, small nods acknowledging each other and each of them calling the other by their last name. It was a _night_. A typical night.

But something inside Adams mind kept screaming “date”, so Adam had to tell himself it was a “not-date”.

When they got to Adams apartment, he insisted he take a shower first. Ronan gave him a mumbled ‘whatever’ and jumped onto Adams mattress with his hands behind his head. 

“Are you planning on taking a nap?” Adam asked him.

“Depends. How long do you plan to spend in the shower, Parrish?” 

Adam felt his cheeks start to burn without his permission. Why did everything that Ronan said to him feel like it had a hidden meaning or sound like it was an innuendo?

After a pause, “You should hurry up, I’m starving. You have to look at the menu on my phone when you’re all cleaned up and don’t smell like a gas can,” He said with a smirk.

Adam made a face at him, even though Ronans eyes were closed as he declined further into the bed. Adam grabbed some clothes from his dresser, quickly stripped in the bathroom and got under the luke-warm water. He felt slightly on edge getting naked while Ronan was in the adjoining room to his bathroom. He washed as quickly as he could, put his new clothes on and tried to pretend like he wasn't feeling skittish.

“Wake up, Lynch.” Adam nudged his sleeping form with his naked foot.

“’Bout time, Parrish. Okay, so here’s the website and a list of your options. I know everyone says all soy sauce is the same, but this Chinese food place really has the best. And if you’re going to order shrimp, I think you should get the…” Adam started to chuckle and space out at Ronans eagerness about this restaurant.

“We aren’t ordering from China Palace like we usually do?” Adam asked, while failing to hide his smile.

“No way.” Ronan frowned at him. “I figured you never had Stirfry King’s before so I thought we’d try it. And don’t gimme that ‘it’s too expensive’ bullshit, I’m covering the tab for you, no complaints.”

Adam opened his mouth to complain, but Ronan shushed him with a hand over his mouth. Ronans trademark half smile was as sharp as a knife. “I said no complaining.”

At that moment, Adams hands clench into fists and he does something stupid because he isn't thinking clearly when it comes to Ronan lately. All he was thinking about was wiping that cocky grin off of Ronan’s face and getting his hand off of his mouth. In a daze of being frustrated, angry, and possibly a little turned on, Adam licks a big strip up Ronans palm.

“What the— Jesus, Parrish!” Ronan exclaims, yanking his hand protectively to his chest.

Adam just looks at him, calmly, all casual, and says. “You wouldn’t let me talk.”

“Well, we both know how much you like your autonomy.” Ronan mumbles as he’s rubbing his hand on his pants to get Adams saliva off. Adam ignores the jab at his pride and grabs Ronans abandoned phone from the bed. He doesn’t miss the way he can tell Ronan is staring at him out of the corner of his eye. They’re both quiet as Adam scrolls through his dinner options.

When he finally picks something he hands the phone back to Ronan and tells him his order so he can put it in his digital cart and pay for it. It’s going to take about 30 minutes or more for the food to be delivered, so Adam decides to work on some homework. Ronan lounged around on Adams bed while Adam had his notebooks and papers scattered around him on the other side of his bed. Adam would get a few lines of his textbook read or write down a few notes and then Ronan would make some comment about something random and they would talk for awhile before Adam moved on to the next problem in his assignment. It was a good balance of Adam getting to study and both boys being in the company of each other.

When there was a knock at the door, naturally Ronan made Adam answer it after giving him the cash for their food. They ate in comfortable silence and Adam tried his best to shut off his brain and remind himself that this was a “not-date”. 

Adam cleaned up their food and went to store the leftovers in his fridge. When he was finished, Ronan was sleeping. Or, at least Adam thought he was. He was relaxed on Adams bed again, head tilted back, exposing the pale skin of his neck. He eyes were closed and his mouth was parted slightly. Adam felt his stomach drop. He couldn’t stop staring at Ronan and thinking about how much he liked the way Ronan looked. He couldn’t explain it. He was just… _attractive_. Although that still didn’t feel like the right word. Adam wasn't the least bit worried that he was attracted to a guy. Although, he wasn't sure if the fact that it was Ronan made a difference? It just didn't seem weird to him. 

He always fought with Ronan, right from the start. But even that just felt natural, it felt like it was just what they did. They fit.

Ronan jerked in his sleep and sat up, rubbing his eyes with both hands. __Why does he look so good after just waking up? Adam thought.

"Why were you staring at me?" Ronan asked him.

"I wasn't staring," Was Adams answer. Ronan gave him a nervous look. They stared at each other until Adam was the one to break the eye contact.

Being quick to dissolve the awkward tension, Ronan suggested that they play a game on his phone, taking turns passing it back and forth. It was a spelling game, like the game scrabble. Ronan went on about how it was an 'Adam Parrish Game' because it wasn't really a game, because you were learning at the same time.

"I don't think it's really a learning game," Adam protested, making air quotes, "You're just using your brain while you play. You should try using yours sometime." That earned Adam a pillow thrown at him in the stomach.

"I use my brain all the time, dickhead," Ronan responded, using air quotes around 'use my brain'. Adam knew Ronan was mocking him but he still smiled and laughed anyway; he enjoyed Ronans humor. Okay, _most_ of the time he did.

And basically that was the extent of Adams Monday night. Later on they finished their game, Ronan left with a backwards wave of his hand to Adam, and Adam went to bed. Now, it was Friday and his last class had just let out. He went outside and unchained his bike, putting in his combination. He intended to head straight home and gave a quiet night in, or maybe see what Gansey was up to, since Adam didn't have to work. He got on his bike and started in the direction of Monmouth when he felt a pull in a different direction. _Cabeswater._ His first thought was to ignore it, but the farther away from Cabeswater he went, the more intense the pull became. He relented and turned his bike around.

By the time he reached Cabeswater he was a sweating mess. His hair was sticking to his forehead, his uniform all wrinkled and sticking to his body. He laid his bike on the ground and walked into Cabeswater, closing his eyes and letting it be his guide.

 _Greywaren,_ it whispered.

 _No,_ thought Adam. _It's the Magician._

 _Greywaren. Greywaren._ Cabeswater repeated. 

Adam was starting to get worried with all the frantic chanting. He was still walking with his eyes closed when it felt like he had literally just ran into a wall. He opened his eyes and rubbed at his forehead. He looked ahead to see the same lake that he was swimming in a few days ago when he came to fix the ley line. As he got closer he noticed a darker color to the water and started to jog over.

Ronan was floating in the lake, face down.

Adam panicked. He saw red, no, white. He didn't even know what he was seeing, he just pulled his shoes off quickly and hoped into the water. It must've been the adrenaline that gave him enough strength to pull Ronan to shore and out of the water.

Ronan wasn't breathing. Adam was really panicking now, he didn't think Cabeswater would let Ronan die, but Adam had to do _something_ to get him breathing. So did he the most logical thing, he put his mouth to Ronans and started CPR.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise we will get to the pynch stuff soon, these boys can't be kept apart for too long <3


	11. But It's Too Late For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow Ronan managed to fall into a lake and almost drowned. Thank god Adam is The Magician and Cabeswater helped him save Ronans life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for some thoughts about death at the beginning of this chapter, nothing serious.  
> Also I had to split the POV this time, you'll see how it worked out. Should be back to Ronans POV next chapter.

Despite what most people thought, Ronan Lynch did not think about death that often.

There were times when, yes, it may have crossed his mind for a split second or maybe even a few seconds, but it was never something he really thought about. He definitely was not one to think about suicide either.

After his father’s death, he wondered what it was like for him during his last moments. What did he think about, what did he wish he would’ve done differently, what did he want to do if given another chance? Ultimately, these were the questions going through Ronans mind at the exact moment when he stopped breathing and slipped into unconsciousness.

He almost welcomed it in, the unconsciousness, because it was so nice to not have to think for a while. He tried to grab onto some tether of reality, to grab onto something so he wasn’t too far gone. His mother, his friends, Matthew, Adam. After all, Cabeswater would save him… right? He figured this must be what it's like when Adam is scrying; he can feel himself slipping away but he has to latch onto something in the real world to bring himself back. However, it wasn't working for him.

Ronan was in a panic. Everything he knew about Cabeswater meant that the magical forest would save him. If it didn’t, he was as good as dead. He was still just barely hanging on, but he felt himself slipping. All of a sudden the temperature around him changed. He was cold before but this was a different kind of cold. His lungs and chest burned from the lack of oxygen, but he couldn’t get himself to breath. His lungs were collapsing. That had to be it. That’s the only reason Ronan could come up with when it felt like someone was pounding on his chest. Then it happened.

An explosion in his chest, white light behind his eyelids and he was choking, coughing on his own spit, wait, no that had to be the water that was trapped in his lungs. He coughed and coughed until his throat felt raw, but he was breathing. He was breathing, which meant that he was alive. 

When he came back to himself he was on his hands and knees, staring at the bright green grass of Cabeswater. He barely registered that there was a person hovering to his right, and that person had a hand rubbing a small circle on his upper back. Momentarily, Ronan felt embaressed and weak for this person to see him this way. He wanted to recoil away from their touch or say some barbed comment, but his brain was too slow to come up with anything other than _air._ Ronan closed his eyes and just breathed for what felt like minutes after minutes. It was a soft voice that brought him back to himself.

“Are you still breathing?” _Adam._ Of course it was Adam. Ronan felt himself visibly relax, but he turned so that he was sitting with his legs stretched out, making Adams hand on him drop. He blinked a few times and focused on Adams profile, then down to his soaking wet clothes.

Adam had jumped in and saved him.

How did he even know where he was? It’s not like Ronan even knows what time it is in the real world; Adam could’ve been in school while Ronan was drowning. His next thought hit him like a ton of bricks, _Cabeswater._ It had to let it’s magician know that the Greywaren was in trouble, right? _Good,_ Ronan thought, _at least Cabeswater doesn’t want me dead._

Ronan swayed to his left a little and almost tipped sideways when Adams hand shot out and steadied him. Adams hand was a warm presence on his forearm that Ronan wanted to curl into and never let go. His eyes were drifting shut.

“Hey!” Adam yelled. “You should stay awake, Ronan. Ronan, _Ronan._ ” Ronan assumed he had drifted off because Adam kept repeating his name and shaking him slightly. Distantly, he thought that was the most that Adam has ever said his first name before in such a short time. He liked it, a lot.

__“I’m… sorry. I just want to sleep. Thanks… for… saving my ass… Parrish.” Ronan responded through some deep breaths._ _

__“You’re alright, I’ll call Gansey to come get us. We’ll get some blankets to warm you up and everything will be fine, okay? Okay.”_ _

__Adam seemed to be talking more to himself than to Ronan. It was obvious Ronans little acciedent had spooked Adam to the core. Ronan leaned into Adams warm arm, trying to make it not so obvious. He really was cold, now that Adam brought it up._ _

__“What were you doing out here anyway?” Adam asked softly. “I felt… a pull, or some sort of instinct to come here. Cabeswater, it… was saying your name, so violently…” Adams words drifted off. They were lulling Ronan to sleep._ _

__Ronan recalled his earlier thoughts about his father, about death. When he realized that he was dying, what did he wish he had done differently in his life? For Ronan, he thought that the answer was literally just staring him in the face. He wanted Adam. He didn’t want to lose Adams friendship, but he wanted to be something more to him. He was tired of schooling his expression when he looked at Adam, tired of them dancing around in an endless circle. Ronan wasn’t even sure if Adam liked him. Obviously he did enough to be his friend, but anything beyond that Ronan had no idea. The bottom line was that Ronan was finally ready to go after what he wanted, or at least to try._ _

__“Parrish…” Ronan wasn’t sure if he spoke Adams name from his mouth or his head. He gave up the losing battle between sleep and consciousness. He rolled more to the side so he was tucked against Adams chest, clutching his arm as hard as he could for being so out of it. He could feel Adam shaking slightly, or maybe that was himself. He would never know, because he drifted back off to sleep after that._ _

__\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ _

__“Ronan? Ronan are you still with me?” He was curled up against Adam like a small child after a nightmare. His grip on Adams arm was tight, only loosening slightly as he fell asleep._ _

___Dammit,_ Adam thought. He used his free arm to press two fingers to Ronans neck and find a pulse. Sure enough, it was there and steady. _Okay,_ Adam thought. He shifted around see if Ronans phone had survived the afternoon swim. Sure enough, Adam saw the bulge in Ronans back pocket. He carefully pulled it out, trying not to groap Ronan anymore than necessary. Ronan made a small sound as Adam pulled away from him to look at the phone. He instantly moved to huddle against Adam again. Adam frowned, this was really strange behavior for Ronan, although he kind of almost drowned so maybe this was okay. Ronan was going to kill him if he remembers any of this when he wakes up._ _

__Adam held the phone in front of his face, pushed the lock button on the top and the screen came to life. Ronan had very few contacts so it didn’t take long to find Ganseys name. Gansey answered on the second ring, “Ronan?”_ _

__“No, it’s Adam. I need you to come pick us up.”_ _

__A beat, a pause, “What happened?” Gansey asked in a dead voice that Adam rarely heard. He took a deep breath, “He almost drowned… in Cabeswater. I was on my way home and…”_ _

__“You’re in Cabeswater?” Gansey interrupted, “I’ll be right there.”_ _

__“Thanks. Please hurry. I found him in the lake, unconscious. I gave him CPR and then he was fine, but he fell asleep now and I don’t know if that’s the best thing for him and he’s really cold, it’s cold here-“_ _

___“Adam.”_ Gansey spoke in his Gansey-voice that had commanded wild creatures to do what he asked. “It’s okay, I’m driving there now, just keep an eye on him. The worst is over.”_ _

__“It was like Cabeswater made me come here, Gansey, like it told me he was in trouble…” Adam mused._ _

__“You’re truly a magical creature, Adam Parrish. I’ll be there as fast as The Pig will let me.”_ _

__They hung up and Adam waited. Ronan was so close against him that he could feel his breathing against his chest. He counted everytime Ronan breathed in and out; it helped calm him, gave him something to focus on. Adam didn’t know how long it took for Gansey to get there, his eyes were long past being in focus._ _

__Together, Gansey and Adam draped Ronans arms around their shoulders. Ronan woke up enough to at least shuffle his feet until they reached the car. They helped maneuver him into the backseat, spread out on the seats._ _

__“Thanks… guys.” Ronan breathed as he shut his eyes again._ _

__Adam didn’t have very much experience with people almost drowning, but he wasn’t sure why Ronan was so tired. Maybe he was having nightmares again? Or something was wrong with his mother? Adam had no idea. He slumped down in his seat and leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window._ _

__As they reached Monmouth, Ronan started to stir. Adam turned around and said “Hey, how are you feeling?”_ _

__There were no words to describe the rush of emotions that went through Ronans face at that moment. He rubbed at his eyes a little and then his neck, it was probably kinked from laying down at an awkward angle. He blinked at Adam a few times when he heard his voice, no doubt remembering everything that had just happened. Ronans eyes dropped from Adams face, almost as if he was embaressed, and he turned to stare out the window._ _

__“Not that it is any of my business Ronan, but what you doing in Cabeswater, didn’t you have class?” Gansey asked, not taking his eyes away from the road._ _

__“I… yeah, I skipped my last few classes.” Ronan replied._ _

__“And what, may I ask, was so important in Cabeswater that you almost drowned?”_ _

__Adam saw Ronan tense and his eyes harden. “None of your business, Dick.”_ _

__Gansey sighed. “I’m just glad you’re alright. And that Adam here brought you back to life by using CPR.”_ _

__Adam thought he felt himself blush. Ronan just seemed to get more agitated at Ganseys words.  
“Thanks for saving me, Parrish.” Ronan muttered._ _

“Well, you know,” Adam started, “What are fake boyfriends for?” Adam meant it as a joke; something simple to lighten the mood, but it came out all wrong. Instead of sounding sure of himself, the last part of Adams sentence came out in a cracked voice and sounded like a question. He was waiting for a retort from Ronan about his bad joke, but instead he got a, “Fuck off, Parrish.” And opened the door with too much force and he got out and barreled up the stairs of Monmouth. Adam winced at Ronans words. _Well, fuck him too then,_ Adam thought, _I just saved his life._

__“What’s up his ass?” Adam growled at no one in particular._ _

__“I’m sure it’s just typical Ronan, fine one minute and then hot headed the next. Here,” Gansey said, “Let me help get your bike out of the trunk.”_ _

__“Thanks, Gansey. I’d stay but I kinda just want to go home now after the drama queens dramatic exit.” He lifted his chin toward the stairs of Monmouth._ _

__Gansey put his hand to his mouth to try and hide his chuckle. “Alright, see you for school tomorrow.” He held out a fist and Adam bumped it with his as they went their separate ways._ _

__Adam got on his bike and headed for his shitty, lonely apartment. As he peddeled, he was trying very very hard not to think of what Ronans lips felt like against his. He was failing miserably and couldn't help himself as he brought two fingers up to touch the ghost of the other boys lips on his._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, it'll all work out, right??


End file.
